You thought you had won by being petty, selfish and downright cruel. A payback of sorts, in your mind, for my decision to protect my family, a concept that I am quite certain was foreign to you.

But I am curious to know what exactly you were hoping to gain from the incredibly heartless act of removing me from your will? Because I had always told you that I did not care anything about your money. So it must have been out of spite? Revenge? One last, “well I will show her” towards your own daughter? And why all of a sudden? To justify the false narrative you created in your head that I was a terrible daughter so that you could live with yourself every day? What kind of parent does that? I, for one, simply cannot fathom the concept.

Any human who feels accomplished by intentionally hurting others, much less, their own family, is purely driven by the devil. Plain and simple. You knew damn good and well what you did to my family. Something so horrific, that out of fear, I gathered my children and left in the middle of the night and was given no choice but to remove you from our lives. And you never once apologized. You didn’t even remotely try to mend things. In fact, you did quite the opposite. You created your own false scenario in your sick, delusional mind so that you could live with yourself when what you should have done was beg for forgiveness. But I should have known you could never be man enough to admit fault or be accountable for your actions. So in the end, I, your only daughter, meant so little to you that you could not utter three simple words, “I was wrong.” So in the end, a relationship with your grandchildren was not important enough for you to say, “I am sorry.” So in the end, a lifetime of love and support from my family was so insignificant that you were unable to say, “please forgive me.” At the end of it all, three simple words were deemed impossible for you. Instead, you took the easy way out and let us walk away. You chose to mask your flaws with pride and vindictiveness. Par for the course.

But on June 5th, you met your maker. Were you proud of yourself, Johnny, when you knelt before Jesus? Because in that moment, you could no longer hide, no longer twist the truth to make me the villain in your story. Because He saw it all. He knew it all.

I didn’t think it was possible for you to further hurt me, but last week I experienced a different level of evil. You were a coward to your core and you backhanded me from the grave. You shattered my heart into a million pieces with your final low blow. I found out that not only did you remove me from your will, but you put your umpteenth’s wife’s daughter in my place. A wife of barely four years, I might add, who you weren’t even living with anymore. That is a calculated, next-level betrayal that only a monster could devise.

However, unlike you, I can live in peace everyday with the choices I made while you will now have your choices and actions haunting you for eternity.

And when my time comes, I will be proud of myself when I kneel before Jesus. Because I know the type of daughter I was to you and more importantly, HE knows the type of daughter I was to you- a loving, loyal, supportive, forgiving one, despite your hurtful actions towards me time and time again. And unbeknownst to you, through it all, I continued to pray for mercy for you because you were such a lost soul and oh so very troubled.

To have a parent, a biological parent, purposefully make his own flesh and blood feel like they meant nothing to him is top-tier hatred. Most people try to become the best versions of themselves as they age. They gain wisdom. They soften. They repent. They reflect on their past actions and try to learn from them. They apologize to those they have wronged. They realize what is most important in life and they prioritize time with family. They choose a path that will hopefully lead them to Jesus. But not you. You continued to make poor choices, tell lies, maliciously hurt your family and lived a life of sin until your dying day.

I am just curious, how’d that work out for you. From what I can tell, not too well.

Mark my words, I will strive for the rest of my life to be nothing like you. I will work my hardest to make sure I am everything you were incapable of being…steady, present, accountable, supportive, honest, loving, morally grounded, faithful, living a life that is surrendered to Jesus. I will model what a strong, respectful, committed marriage that is rooted in faith looks like. I will ensure that my children and grandchildren know each and every day how much I love them. I will NEVER and I repeat NEVER make them feel as unworthy as you have made me feel.

“But God.”

God protected me in so many ways. I see it all so clearly now. Every redirection was protection. Protection from a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear. Protection from a scenario that was harmful to my family. Protection from a relationship that was toxic. Going no-contact with a parent is an excruciating choice. And believe me, I struggled with that decision. “But God.” All along it was His guidance. His will. His protection. And while I still had to weather the storm, He was always in my boat. And even now, through the heartbreaking pain, He sees me. And the repercussions that linger were never mine to carry. I will turn them over to Him and beg for His intervening grace to take this heavy burden off of my heart. And hallelujah, all praise be to God, that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, deep down in the depths of my soul…

THAT NOT AN OUNCE OF MY WORTH IS DEFINED BY YOUR BROKENNESS!

So in the end Johnny, you did not win like you had hoped. You lost big time. In so many ways. On so many levels. Because what you were clueless to realize is that evil never wins. Goodness will always prevail. And while you may have succeeded in temporarily causing me pain, I will win in the long run because unlike you, I am surrounded by a family who loves me, friends who will support me and a faith in God who will help me navigate these waters. What a beautiful twist of fate.The only true redemption is in God and that is the only redemption I will ever seek.

“And I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves, when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace, for I am Yours and You are mine”

Maybe I am no longer your daughter, but I am forever a daughter of Christ,

Jenifer